Saturday, October 15, 2016

that mama~

Fall has jumped right in like a champ with beautiful weather, leaves falling right on time, scampering squirrels collecting their nuts.  We've worked the summer away really, not even having enough time to be miserable from the heat...hardly.  I'm almost certain this is the first time in our married life that we have actually felt like we've had a "weekend" ~ with Jer being a firefighter his schedule is always rotating never giving us a weekend feel, but with all the work we've been doing on the new house, reserving the weekends to be active with the kiddos, doing something other than work, we have had the opportunity to look forward to the weekend, making us realize "weekend" living.  Whew that was a long sentence with a lot of weekend! :)

This little guy is talking up a storm these days ~ very expressive in what he is feeling.  If something is yummy, funny, or he's hungry, or  recently the washing machine was being loud, he said "scary".  Lately he's also expressed how dark night is and that he doesn't like that.  I'm thankful that he can express by words his emotions, as it has kept much frustration away.  Being able to understand and help him has been huge, something I think most of my late talkers struggled with, which ended up in lots of screaming.  

We have been back to lessons for a while now, though taking quite a bit of time beforehand to evaluate each child, seeing where they are ~ moving some up to higher levels in certain subjects, skipping some levels, while other levels remained going in order.  We use Christian Light Education for all subjects now, making things quite orderly and mindless(mostly) for me.  They come in Light Units, so that we don't have to have extra pads of paper, they can just write in the workbooks.  That's nice to not have to keep up with lots of extras!  I've been trying to check their work at least a couple times a week, but really this is something that needs to be done daily...a challenge for me, I must admit!

Mostly everyone is doing well, with tidbits of fussing from a certain little miss.  This is no surprise though ~ born to walk this journey at her own pace, with her own set of rules.  A girl after my own heart, truly.  Being so familiar with this way myself, I realize now as an adult I musent do her any "favors" by being easy on her, allowing her to slide by, being "free".  This a big part of my personality, but also a huge life long struggle.  Left to my own thoughts as a child I struggle now with being committed to finishing things all the way, and not quitting.   I have been working on that though, and doing much better, now that I see what the problem has been.  I will not allow her to quit and give up so easily.  Perseverance pays off, even mostly when it's tough.  I'm still quite relaxed you know, just aware.  

Recently the reality of being a mama of a collage age child is taking me aback.  Can this really be happening, and I'm truly not ready to be that mama.  Confession ~ I feel mostly like a child raising children, ya know?  How can I possible be old enough to have an eighteen year old.  How can I possible have a child thinking about going to collage.  Really I'm afraid that it's just going to keep happening, it is you know, once stair step children start growing up, they all start growing up.  I'm just not ready for this faze of life.... I'm just not ready to be that mama!!!!!


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